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After being fired from my 20^th job, I feel I’m justified in saying I was not meant to work. Not in a typical nine to five stint requiring the attention span of a rock and the personality of a dung beetle. I’ve done everything from secretary to sales, customer service, accounting, and administration. I am an aerobic instructor (this job I actually enjoy and still do. If only they paid more than a McDonald’s Happy Meal costs). I attempted personal training (more like adult babysitting), and countless other positions that were unsuccessful due to my stubborn ego and tendency toward irreverent behavior. I believe Corporate America is a square hole and I’m a round peg. I will always find a way to fit in, but I’ll never be able to fill the hole completely.

I’ve taken numerous online quizzes attempting to determine what I want to be when I grow up and the overall theme is writer. I love to express what I think, feel and believe on paper. I have a gift for giving great email and I use it often. My rear end is a direct reflection of this discovery as it begins to spread wider than the seat on which I perch for hours to contemplate life’s quirks. Many people like to write because speaking in person is uncomfortable. I love to speak in person as well. I’m an anomaly; an extroverted writer. I think that places me in the great company of Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, and Oral Roberts. So why am I not making their income? No gonads, is my personal opinion and I refer to it on so many different levels!

The question remains; what am I able to contribute to an organization that they would not otherwise possess? I am an outgoing, easy going, always going woman. I’m virtually the energizer bunny; constantly hopping while endlessly beating my drum but never really going anywhere. I’ve overcome the learned challenge of project procrastination and now I can actually see a project through to the end, which comes…eventually. I tried reading the Procrastinator’s Guide to Success by Lyn Lively which is a very informational book, but I couldn’t get around to finishing it. I’ve made a million lists to keep myself on track but can’t find them. They are all written on post-its and they all look alike.

So here I am, trying to beat my way out of the box created by my own limited thinking. We are all a product of our own tortured minds, bringing to life every misguided thought by the law of attraction. All the books refer to positive energy in our minds attracting positive energy from the universe. What I haven’t figured out is how to break my defeating train of thought. In my heart I am powerful, but my mind continues to argue with this declaration. My heart and my head need a relationship counselor to break the barriers of negative communication. It is my goal to get my innards on the same proverbial page.

It is true that we all must earn a living in some way. I’ve often threatened to head down to Fifth and Broad to offer my services in exchange for currency. My mother chuckles and asks where I think I’m going to get the other nine hundred and ninety nine dollars for a one thousand dollar mortgage. Thanks, Mom. I love you, too.

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~ by melissakenis on January 1, 2011.